Friday, December 16, 2011

It's not our fault we are running late for the holidays....

Every year we say we are going to get ready earlier, prepare & send cards right after Thanksgiving, plan events earlier in the month.......And, while once again we find ourselves in a mad mid-December scramble, this year we have a legitimate excuse....the holidays literally AND figuratively come later here!


More subtle: At home, the omnipresent & elaborate reminders of the season visible right after Halloween, (in theory) should spark us all into action early.  However, here even the most over-the-top holiday displays are, by comparison, subtle.  


In that spirit, I tried to convince the kids that these cute decorative trees could serve as our Christmas tree this year (rookie move - YES we now have a 'real tree' too!)


Anyhow, turns out the store with THE MOST elaborate holiday displays is a Home Depot like place - called Epicenter.  From the outside only the small tree gives any indication of the season
  
Inside, they do go to almost US levels of holiday festivity.....


They are trying to sell holiday decor after all.....


Stick your head in a Scottish man cut out?  Nothing says Merry Christmas like that!




Late timeline & no gifts for Christmas:  Given most people here are Orthodox, they celebrate Christmas on January 6-7.  However, that is considered a religious holiday only and does not include gifts. (Incidentally, while under Soviet rule, people were not allowed to celebrate Christmas since they were under 'severe religious repression' and apparently it was best to present yourself as atheist)  


But don't worry, they do go all out for New Years, which includes a visit from Father Frost & the Snow Princess - who come bearing gifts.  An example from Quincy's class party.....(Father Frost should look a little familiar!)


Post Soviet rule, some of the new generation have started to celebrate a St. Nicholas Day on December 19th.  It doesn't seem that widespread & has been described to me as a 'made up holiday', but does include more gifts - so our kids have declared it worthy of recognition.




So, just remember, if your holiday card arrives by the 7th of January, we are totally on time!


Hope you are enjoying the scramble of the season!

Monday, December 12, 2011

Hot - but not sweaty

Ukraine has a reputation (a well-deserved one, from what I've seen) for having very attractive women.  Maybe partly genetics - high cheek bones, slim builds.  But quite a lot seems effort related - thoughtful, body accentuating outfits, dedication to hair.....


It's not at all uncommon to see an outfit like this in the grocery store...


And while people at home joke about some moms being MILFs, here ALL the Ukrainian moms I have met are hot moms....




Correspondingly, most women 'below Babuska age' are seriously in shape.  (Babushka era is another topic entirely - stay tuned...) 


Anyhow, with all these hot, toned women, I expected to see fitness all over.  And while the 'Super Sculpt' class I attend is often pretty packed.....


...outside of a gym you almost NEVER see anyone working out.  

  • Joggers? - Occasionally but ONLY in relatively isolated areas of parks.  
  • Bikers? - I've seen ~3 to date - but the motivation must have been transportation desperation vs. exercise given scary 'assertive drivers' 



And when I do run to the gym, I often get gawked at & get the double-take starting from the white running shoes.  (It strikes me as funny that I am the one who stands out next to the thigh-high boot, tiny skirt crowd waiting for the 9am bus to work!)


The norm, it turns out, is to show up to the gym fully outfitted in aforementioned 'hot lady attire'.


Everyone enters & leaves looking perfectly coiffed, fully made-up and sweat free.  Hot damn -   this hot lady thing is a serious work!




So here's to bringing the sweaty to the hot!  Enjoy your day - whatever you threw on today....


    

Monday, December 5, 2011

Behind the Wheel

Before moving to Kyiv, the handful of ex-pats we met here all advised us that the roads are terrible, the drivers are lunatics and the whole thing is best left to professionals.  Many of our friends have hired drivers.  And frankly, many of the high-income locals also have hired drivers (the price per month is roughly what a car payment + insurance would run you at home).  


There is a sign at our kids' school which explains pick up rules - it opens with "Dear Parents, Nannies & Drivers.....".


So, it would not be unusual to live here for years and not drive oneself.  That said, what fun is it to be usual?!  


Logan has been driving himself since day 1 here, I've been behind the wheel for a few months now.....some of the key lessons so far:




Don't judge direction by other cars: While at home, you can generally glance down a street and determine if it is 1-way or 2-way based on the direction the cars are, that does not necessarily apply here......




Do not expect signs to inform location: At home, I was lulled into a comfortable expectation that there would be a street sign at virtually every intersection.  I mean, the freeway signs even point out niceties like which fast food place is coming up!  One learns quickly not to rely on street signs here.  Intersections rarely have them.  Instead you can look for signs on the sides of buildings (see the little white box on the fence?!).  Try reading one of these while driving.  How anyone found anything here before GPS totally perplexes me!




JUST GO!!!  And, don't worry about what's going on behind you: This seems to be a common rule observed by those driving in insane conditions....but I've been informed by several that your key to (relative) safety is  a) do not hesitate  b) do not worry about those behind you  c) JUST GO!  There are many instances where 3+ lanes of traffic suddenly merge down to 1 and feed into a highway....defies all safe highway planning as far as I can tell,.....but makes it virtually impossible to look behind you and merge in at the same time.  So you JUST GO!



Try to figure out what the random signs actually mean: While there are not many street signs, there are a slew of other signs - clearly intended to inform us of some sort of rule.  Some are obvious.......


Some a little less clear......(I think the 2 numbers relate to speed - NO idea what the black bump is all about)


And while I gather this means I should watch out, I have no idea for what..........




And some just perfectly confusing....(I guess this means trucks can go both ways?  And I have NO IDEA what the yellow diamond means - although I should find out as they are all over the place!)


...and on the rare occasion where there is a street sign, you are so busy trying to decipher what the other signs mean, it's easy to miss the street names anyhow!


If you screw something up, you WILL get caught: Big brother is everywhere.  You see traffic cops all over the place.  They are downtown, on the freeways, in my neighborhood.....and the funny thing is, they are on foot!  


Here you see one waiting to catch someone appearing to go too fast (who needs radar?!).....To pull you over, they wave a white baton at you.  I've been surprised by the immediate compliance I've witnessed so far.  I mean, are they really going to break into a foot race against a car?!?....


...apparently they've thought of that too....as you almost always see another team, WITH A CAR, about 50 yards ahead.  Apparently if you do not stop for the first guy, the second team is far less pleasant.  Considering the 'assertive customer service' culture, I shudder to think of what that would be like & fully plan to pull over when the time comes.


Out with the bribes, in with the friendly English babble:  Since it is likely just a matter of time until I get pulled over, I've been asking around how to handle the inevitable.  While a few years ago, a bit of $$ on the spot could absolve you of wrongdoing, Ukraine is now trying to clean up its act (partially in attempt to become part of the EU).  Apparently kickbacks are no longer the way out.  


Word on the street is talk quickly in English, feign lack of any ability to communicate in Russian or Ukrainian, pull out all kinds of papers - insurance papers, drivers license, restaurant receipts......whatever - smile and hope.  (Incidentally, Logan has been pulled over twice already - and has been given some useful tips on how to obey local rules - but has not received any tickets).




Happy Monday!  Safe driving and here's to you, street signs!


  

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Highs and Lows

Kyiv is a city of extremes - especially when it comes to the economy.  


Oligarchs are loaded:  With the collapse of the Soviet Union & Ukraine's independence, many state-owned assets were privatized.  Those who were in the right place at the right time, emerged as 'oligarchs'.  Oligarchs are defined by Wikipedia as "well-connected entrepreneurs who started from nearly nothing and got rich through participation in the market via connections to the corrupt, but democratically elected, government of Ukraine during the state's transition to a market-based economy."


Regular Joe's are seriously squeaking by: Meanwhile, the average gross income is a mere $319 / month!  Sure - you can take your cat to the vet for silly low prices, and local produce & starchy foods are pretty cheap.....but it still doesn't add up to me.


With that context, I thought I'd share some of my neighborhood cues of these polar opposites.....let's take a look at 4 basic needs:


Shelter: Just down the road we live on, we have the high end.......


Palace like exterior, high fortress-like fence, enormous footprint (must be 7000+ sq ft), and a mini building for the guard / driver.....


....and the house directly next to that one represents how the other half live.......much smaller house (maybe 1000 sq ft), construction materials and drying laundry often out front....
That said, even a small house like this is not truly the low-end norm......more typically, an apartment in a Soviet-style building.




Transportation: Talk about wearing your wealth on your wheels, I've never seen so many Bentley's in my life.  A Ferrari or Porsche is not that unusual either.  And the seeming 'car uniform' of the wealthy here.....the Range Rover.


If you are not in the 'money is no object' set, odds are you're trolling around in something like this.  Small, fuel efficient, manual transmission Hyundai, Kia or Opel........
But, once again, the 'real average' people don't have cars - they take the Metro and walk (which apparently is only for people who cannot afford other modes of transport.  My landlord saw me walking & insisted on picking me up.  Could not believe I wanted to walk.)




Food: In the last 24 hours, I've experienced the range.....Logan's boss came in town and took us out for dinner to a steak / seafood place.  I don't dare guess what the total bill was.  But one appetizer alone was ~$20....


....meanwhile for lunch today, I chose a Ukrainian chain which serves food cafeteria style (always good for those with questionable language skills).  Total bill $5..




Clothing: Clearly, the oligarchs have money to spend when you take a look at some of the shops around town.....




....for those in the ~$2/hour camp, there are plenty of options as well.  Random 'pop up stores' like the back of this truck parked near our local grocery store....


....or low-end stores in the Metro stations......


...or, to keep overhead even lower, vendors literally lining the walls with their wares in the underground walkways.




The good news is - according to the Harvard professor on positive psychology (Tal Ben-Shahar), once basic needs are met, there is no correlation between wealth and happiness.  Instead happiness correlates to pleasure & purpose.


So, here's to having a happy day - even if you walk to work!