Behind the Wheel

Before moving to Kyiv, the handful of ex-pats we met here all advised us that the roads are terrible, the drivers are lunatics and the whole thing is best left to professionals.  Many of our friends have hired drivers.  And frankly, many of the high-income locals also have hired drivers (the price per month is roughly what a car payment + insurance would run you at home).  


There is a sign at our kids' school which explains pick up rules - it opens with "Dear Parents, Nannies & Drivers.....".


So, it would not be unusual to live here for years and not drive oneself.  That said, what fun is it to be usual?!  


Logan has been driving himself since day 1 here, I've been behind the wheel for a few months now.....some of the key lessons so far:




Don't judge direction by other cars: While at home, you can generally glance down a street and determine if it is 1-way or 2-way based on the direction the cars are, that does not necessarily apply here......

Do not expect signs to inform location: At home, I was lulled into a comfortable expectation that there would be a street sign at virtually every intersection.  I mean, the freeway signs even point out niceties like which fast food place is coming up!  One learns quickly not to rely on street signs here.  Intersections rarely have them.  Instead you can look for signs on the sides of buildings (see the little white box on the fence?!).  Try reading one of these while driving.  How anyone found anything here before GPS totally perplexes me!

JUST GO!!!  And, don't worry about what's going on behind you: This seems to be a common rule observed by those driving in insane conditions....but I've been informed by several that your key to (relative) safety is  a) do not hesitate  b) do not worry about those behind you  c) JUST GO!  There are many instances where 3+ lanes of traffic suddenly merge down to 1 and feed into a highway....defies all safe highway planning as far as I can tell,.....but makes it virtually impossible to look behind you and merge in at the same time.  So you JUST GO!

Try to figure out what the random signs actually mean: While there are not many street signs, there are a slew of other signs - clearly intended to inform us of some sort of rule.  Some are obvious.......

Some a little less clear......(I think the 2 numbers relate to speed - NO idea what the black bump is all about)

And while I gather this means I should watch out, I have no idea for what..........

And some just perfectly confusing....(I guess this means trucks can go both ways?  And I have NO IDEA what the yellow diamond means - although I should find out as they are all over the place!)

...and on the rare occasion where there is a street sign, you are so busy trying to decipher what the other signs mean, it's easy to miss the street names anyhow!

If you screw something up, you WILL get caught: Big brother is everywhere.  You see traffic cops all over the place.  They are downtown, on the freeways, in my neighborhood.....and the funny thing is, they are on foot!  


Here you see one waiting to catch someone appearing to go too fast (who needs radar?!).....To pull you over, they wave a white baton at you.  I've been surprised by the immediate compliance I've witnessed so far.  I mean, are they really going to break into a foot race against a car?!?....

...apparently they've thought of that too....as you almost always see another team, WITH A CAR, about 50 yards ahead.  Apparently if you do not stop for the first guy, the second team is far less pleasant.  Considering the 'assertive customer service' culture, I shudder to think of what that would be like & fully plan to pull over when the time comes.

Out with the bribes, in with the friendly English babble:  Since it is likely just a matter of time until I get pulled over, I've been asking around how to handle the inevitable.  While a few years ago, a bit of $$ on the spot could absolve you of wrongdoing, Ukraine is now trying to clean up its act (partially in attempt to become part of the EU).  Apparently kickbacks are no longer the way out.  


Word on the street is talk quickly in English, feign lack of any ability to communicate in Russian or Ukrainian, pull out all kinds of papers - insurance papers, drivers license, restaurant receipts......whatever - smile and hope.  (Incidentally, Logan has been pulled over twice already - and has been given some useful tips on how to obey local rules - but has not received any tickets).




Happy Monday!  Safe driving and here's to you, street signs!