Inefficiency & Mass Confusion

So I guess it is not surprising that living in a place where the vast majority of people do not speak English - with 'grocery store level' Russian at best, I should experience a bit of inefficiency & confusion.  But as someone who adores lists and getting stuff done, recent events have challenged my resolve.....




Monopoly Money: First of all, at 8 to the USD, the Ukrainian 'Hrivna' still seems like Monopoly money.  And while we actually get internet & phone bills in the mail (gas & electric are do-it-yourself - read your own meter, log the usage & pay for at the bank), I have NO IDEA what these bills say.....

So I figure I'll just give them 1000 - a ton of $$ - and be set for a while.  Well apparently, that is only like 3 months worth......meaning we've had internet cut off twice already.  NO INTERNET?!?!  You may as well cut our legs off at the knees!




Taking their time: Things here just happen more slowly.  Your coffee gets served when they get around to it.  And forget refills!  So when our wash machine went out this week, I was not expecting a speedy replacement.  But leaving for vacation tomorrow, we had to wash a thing or two.....so I brought a load of essentials over to my friend Nicky's house.....

3 HOURS LATER the load stopped.  Yes, THREE HOURS (washing only)!!!  I kept thinking, this MUST BE the final spin.  But no.....we now have the very cleanest clothes known to man.  But my God, I had not allocated 3 hours the day before a trip to wait for 1 tiny load of wash!




Mass Confusion: The other day I was expecting the wash machine repair guy (2-4 pm ETA) and an in-home hair cutter for the kids (4 pm).  It was a snowy day with heavy traffic (major jams are unpredictable, but common) - both were late.  At about 4:45 a guy pulls up in a burly looking pick up truck.  He comes to the door with a big suitcase of tools. So I take him to see my broken wash machine.....

I use enthusiastic miming to explain that the washer no longer spins.  He asks if I have kids and I nod knowingly - and say 'oh maybe a small toy has caused the problem'.  He looks confused.  So I tell him the housekeeper can help explain the machine's problems.  After a few minutes of conversing with Alona she bursts out laughing hysterically and explains......he is the hair stylist.

I think she almost peed her pants throughout the cut. 




Here's to hugging anyone who pours you a refill, smiling at understandable utility bills & kissing your large load wash machine!